Soulless/Contract of the Dark

For those that remember, I wrote a chapter based on members of Remnants called Soulless.  I have reworked the story to have it published in a short series called 'Contract of the Dark'.  Names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent, not that there are any.  A new chapter shall be written every week, and members will be allowed to vote on where the next chapter needs to be taken.  Voting for the first chapter ends tonight (2/2/14) so get your chance now.

Contract of the Dark
By J. F. Klyne
serealities.com

I voted to murder Mr Pheal.

Chapter 2 is now available. Voting is until 2/17. Enjoy.
http://serealities.com/2014/02/12/contract-of-the-dark-3/

Chapter 3 is now up. Voting is until 2-24. Hope you guys enjoy
http://serealities.com/2014/02/19/contract-of-the-dark-4/

Chapter 4 is released, with voting until March 3.
http://serealities.com/2014/02/26/contract-of-the-dark-6/

Cheese it Strider.

Chapter 5 is out. Half way through.
http://serealities.com/2014/03/04/contract-of-the-dark-7/

Chapter 6 is published. Enjoy.
http://serealities.com/2014/03/11/contract-of-the-dark-8/

Chapter 7 has been released. Things are getting quite interesting.
http://serealities.com/2014/03/19/contract-of-the-dark-9/

Chapter 8 is now released. Getting close to the end.
http://serealities.com/2014/03/25/contract-of-the-dark-10/

Chapter 9 has been released. One more til the season 1 ending.
http://serealities.com/2014/04/01/contract-of-the-dark-11/

Well, read all 9 chapters...

Raviel, I'll be fair here, definitely not your best at all, or close to one of them.

Good Points-
Already read most of this story, funny seeing how things were turned around. Also I was thrown out a window this time before I shot anyone. (Sad, cause I had a really nice gun if I recall.)
It's mildly entertaining how much more depraved Raphael is in this one, to the point of using the weight of his defeat more than once.
Its a quick, easy read.

Bad Points-
Its TOO quick, and moves TOO fast. There is no sense of surroundings, nor any real sense of danger, to be honest. Everyone is awfully docile after trying to kill one another.
Lack of context with characters for such a short series- Rune is.. who? And why the meeting? The only three characters fleshed out are Mr Red, Raphael, and Gamma. Ms. D shouldn't have even been in the story.
Lack of characteristics that define fear- Holding an egg does not make one freak the hell out, not that we knew it was being held to begin with. For a girl with the ability to create zillions of weapons (I guess?) she sure is... panicky. That is more a Grim "Reaper" thing than it ever was a Mr. Red thing.
Overall, incredibly confusing, with the short, lack of context to go by. I understand there is a limit to the amount to be read at one point, but it doesn't merit confusing writing that isnt meant to be confusing.

Overall, I had to force myself to finish reading it, as I wanted to stop after chapter 6. It was... well, boring. Sorry man. I liked the original unfinished version better.

I understand it is definitely not my best work, especially due to all the restrictions they place on me. I'm slowly getting used to how it is being written, and hopefully the second season will be better. Speaking of which, you guys can pick which sequel you want.

Just vote at: http://serealities.com/2014/04/08/contract-of-the-dark-12/

I'm sure most who have played my Darkest Light Redux will get the second and third sequel. Each sequel will have a different villain. Enjoy.